Sweet Thea Fruitcake

Gift reviews written by our special correspondent, Max the Christmas Cat!

Max says: I send out delicious treats to all my feline friends and loved ones every Christmas. Over the years, I’ve dispatched catnip-flavoured candy canes, tree-ornament kibble balls and chicken giblets dipped in dark chocolate––although it’s best to forget the old-fashioned figgy puddings I sent one year, one of which rolled off a table and permanently flattened the tail of my Great Uncle Malcolm.

Luckily, a few years back, I discovered Sweet Thea. This near-legendary, family-run bakery is famous for making utterly delicious cakes, pies and breads for discerning locals. And they seem to love Christmas almost as much as I do, judging by the top-notch holiday treats they create every year.

And what do I mean by top-notch? Let’s just say that if you’ve been yearning all your life for the very best stollen, honey hearts, ginger crinkle cookies and more––like a cat that can't quite reach the open Friskies Party Mix treat jar on the high shelf––your search has now very happily ended.

In the interests of Christmas pressie research, I recently tried every one of Sweat Thea’s 2022 Yuletide goodies. It was a particularly intense week of crumb-tastic excess, but I was able to finally choose this year’s pressie for all my whisker-twitching loved ones. Drum roll, please: the winner is Sweet Thea Fruitcake.

It’s not hard to find holiday fruitcakes in local supermarkets. But not even starving shop mice wouldn't touch those sorry slabs of misery. In contrast, Sweet Thea’s version is a small-batch, made-from-scratch symphony of deliciousness that starts life in summer. That’s when the organic Oyama-grown sour cherries are soaked in brandy for hours on end (just like Great Uncle Malcolm at his recent birthday party).

Over time, almonds, cinnamon, brown sugar and more are added, eventually creating the kind of rich, eye-rollingly luscious cake that pleases even the pickiest of recipients. Which reminds me of my posh cousin Portia, a Persian who usually turns up her nose at my gifts. This year, when the Sweet Thea cake arrived at her penthouse apartment, she downed it quicker than a ravenous Cookie Monster. I’ve never heard a cat burp so loudly and joyously.

It’s best, though, to take your time and slowly savour every juicy morsel of this best-in-show cake. I’ve already sent out dozens of them this year––they come in a regular version and a version topped with a sweet layer of delectable marzipan––and I’ve made sure to order a couple of extra ones for myself.

And while Sweet Thea has a shop on Main Street in Vancouver plus a store at their Langley bakery, they’ve also launched a super-cool delivery mail order service. You can now order their goodies from this dedicated Fruitcake Plus website for delivery via Canada Post or UPS (in-store pick-up is also available). Just be sure to order an extra one for yourself at the same time!